Why You Should Date Someone Who Isn’t Your Type

A really big dreamer. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. A private college, magna cum laude, while raising four children alone. I worked hard and brought our family out of poverty singlehandedly. We moved to a better neighborhood, built a nice house, and went on vacations. I was no ordinary woman. The man I sought had to be equally well-educated, ambitious, successful, attractive, and generous. I also would have preferred that he not want any children and would be happy to help me raise mine since I had so many. Finally, he had to be well-read, close to my own age, and not addicted to television.

9 Interesting Things That Happen When You Date Someone Who Isn’t Your Type

Getty Images. Marie Claire is supported by its audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy.

The first step towards making not only one girl like you, but most people that And the way you negotiate or flirt can determine the kind of flirting and The convenience of expanding your digital dating network comes with.

My friends had certainly heard me say this line a few times. And the guy I married was also not my type! The three love stories below were the standouts in my life. I met my first love in university. He was my classmate for four years — the entire uni time. At first I never thought he was anything special. He was not tall. He was not more intelligent than I was. I was bossy and he was more of a follower.

But then for some reasons we became friends.

A Case for Dating Outside of Your “Type” This Summer

By Tracey Cox for MailOnline. Not so long ago, I got an email from a woman who was convinced her partner of four years didn’t love or fancy her, purely because his favourite porn star looked nothing like her. Turns out he’s obsessed with a porn star who has enormous breasts and a huge bum.

Dating someone who isn’t your type can be the right type of decision, especially if you When you’re in the dating world, it’s not uncommon to be drawn to a certain “type” of person. Young woman in sunglasses texting.

But evidence to suggest we prefer to seek particular personality types as our partners has been lacking. Over nine years, the researchers tracked the relationship status of these people , who had to also persuade their partners to fill out the same personality questionnaire for the good of science. After nine years and thousands of questionnaires, the researchers ended up with participants who had been in relationships with at least two different romantic partners who were both happy to participate in the study.

Dating someone who is different from our normal ‘type’ can offer opportunities to see the world in new ways Credit: Getty Images. The results showed that the current partners of participants described their personalities in ways that were similar to former partners. In most cases, similarity was only tested across two partners, but for the 29 participants who had more than two willing partners, the results were the same. Like it or not, if you are actively looking for a partner, they are likely to be closer in personality to your ex than you would care to admit.

But your type might also be close to your own personality too. The research showed that the personalities of the partners were not only similar to each other, but to the participants themselves. Participants who scored highly in openness to experience and extroversion were much less likely to choose partners with similar personalities to both ex-partners and themselves.

So, while our relationships can entrench who we think we are, if we are willing to step outside of what we know, they also offer the opportunity to discover new ways of seeing the world. The people we prefer to spend the bulk of our time with are often more like ourselves than we realise Credit: Getty Images. Interestingly, the study could hold potential for online dating.

So, are you dating your dad?

One of things I observe most with my coaching clients is that they’re often confused about what to be picky about in dating. If you’re the woman that has a “type” and only dates a “type,” it’s highly likely this is why you’re still single. Yes, it’s true that we all have preferences in life. However, when you pigeonhole yourself into a certain “type” of man, it’s a big mistake in dating.

Dating your “type” is easy and familiar. It’s also limiting and keeps your pool of available men narrow.

When you’re navigating the rough waters of the dating world, however, fluctuating And while your type might not be a suspender-wearing cartoon cat, your ideal Similarly, rejecting the cute girl your friends keep trying to set you up with just.

My current boyfriend is not my type at all. After a string of Millenial Pablo Nerudas, Cajun poker players, and at least one saxophonist who lives in a treehouse, I was taken aback to find myself compelled by a cyber security consultant with a penchant for lifting and who drives a responsible Chevy Equinox. But in sticking to a type, we run the risk of having each relationship be a watered down reference to another.

Like wear culottes. Think about it — would dating really be any fun if it were predictable? Better yet, fall for that person and then go to Montenegro together.

Is it right to date someone new when you’re not over your ex?

We were classmates — he was just a guy I took English with and saw every day. WTF was going on? He had confidence. There was something attractive in the way he carried himself that I had only just noticed that day. He looked sure of himself and comfortable in his skin.

You’ll often find yourself effortlessly attracted to those who fit your ‘type’ and quickly discount accounts as appearing ‘too nice’. If this strikes a chord with you then.

Back in , I realized that I’d been dating the same type of guy over and over again. So, for a while, I started dating people who weren’t my type. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. He was an all-American, take-home-to-Mamma kind of guy, but it turned out he wasn’t such a keeper. He cheated on me repeatedly and managed to keep it a secret for several months. While I was wallowing in my post-breakup misery, a friend of mine pulled up my Facebook profile and urged me to look at it objectively.

She pointed to the fact that, during the last few years of my life, I had fallen into the habit of dating the same dude over and over again. After that, I started dating with variety in mind. First, I dated a vegan schoolteacher with a cat named Tabitha, then an army dude who was briefly stationed in my hometown, and then I dated a breakdancing writer who contributed to feminist-themed websites.

Date Someone Who Is Absolutely Not Your Type

The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply. Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl, vs a woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around. A boy is attracted to girls.

If you are single or dating, in what way do you want the woman you marry to be The girl you date does not want to meet your family or friends, she wants you all to an in-depth study of the Imposter Syndrome and the Five Personality Types.

Therese Aaker and Daniel Paris. October 23, 26, 0. With the first date behind you, the next few dates should be a time to continue getting to know each other. Somewhere around this point, one of three things happens. A You both like each other and decide to exclusively date. In some rare cases, ghosting can be permissible — but again, this should be the exception and not the rule.

Keep it casual. Keep physical touch classy and to a minimum. But real-life, healthy relationships pretty much never start this way. Being physical with a gal too soon can muddle discernment, send mixed signals and make her feel used. But think about what hand-holding communicates.

10 Types Of Women To NEVER Date!